Saturday, April 5, 2014

you only live once

This morning I had to dry off with paper towels after I took a shower. This because I took all my dirty laundry to the fluff and fold yesterday and it was such a big load because I haven't had my laundry done in weeks that they didn't get it all done. Last night I had to use blankets to make up my bed and to sleep on pillows with no cases. This because I said no to

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

lolla loser

It came as a shock to me late last night that I did NOT win two free tickets to Lollapalooza 2014. This news came at a bad a financially-challenged moment for me - a high school teacher would-be published writer in Mississippi who not only teaches but who also holds down a weekend side job to pay back student loans she made to get a degree to get a job that does not pay enough to pay back the student loans she made to get the degree that got her the job - much less to keep her in boots & shoes - and a mother whose daughter's car got totaled in a car crash two days ago. But more and more I'm trying to see the bright side of things. And it occurred to me that you might want to help a teacher would-be-published-writer-mother go to Lolla the first weekend in August. Because research shows that happy teachers make for happy students. Just like happy mothers make for happy families. So okay! If you'd like to throw some cash or frequent flyer miles or Sheraton points my way for my first-ever Lolla experience - just be in touch for all the deets. And think: Help a teacher/help a child/help a community. Because it really does take a 3-day music festival - I meant - a village 

Sunday, March 23, 2014

there's some strawberry shortcakes in the fridge for you

This morning my oldest daughter Monica was in a car wreck. If you could see how the entire driver's side of her car got smashed in by another car that crossed a median and barreled into hers - you would be shocked to know that she was carried away to the hospital with minor injuries. Her guardian angel - Monica says. The driver of the other car was very young and she only sustained a broken wrist. The cars are destroyed. But who cares? Everyone's bashed and bruised and banged up - but everybody's going to be okay.

Friday, March 21, 2014

all of me

it's funny the way the subject of love has re-entered my world of late. especially after an absence of interest in love as a subject or a pursuit during the past ten years. a dream a few weeks ago about the man i would meet - a couple of friends who want to talk about love - my daughters who are in love |hope they won't kill me for blogging this| a song here or there that spoke to me. john legend's all of me is one of them. the first time i heard this song i thought - the man of my dreams is thinking these things about me. okay. that's all the talk about love i can stomach so early in the morning. what i really want to say is how vulnerable john legend is in this song and how much i respect him as an artist - hope you enjoy x

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

how to go on a dinner date when you're 50ish

A girlfriend of mine has a dinner date tonight. Late last night she texted me in a panic wanting some advice about what to wear, what to talk about, what to do when the check comes etc. And I thought about love/romance/dating while I was making coffee this morning and came up with a quick guide for what I think is the perfect first dinner date when you're 50ish and it turned out so well I decided to share it for the benefit of other friends who are back in the dating game after maybe decades of being married or happily single. The way I see it - the only two things to think about for the first dinner date are 1) what to wear and 2) what to talk about.

wear something understated that's already in your closet that you feel comfortable in. going shopping for a dinner date that may be over before the appetizer arrives is simply a waste of your money & time. if the dinner date is a go then you can start to get excited about what you're going to wear on the first date.

talk if you've actually been able to find a man who's actually asked you out for a dinner date - this means you've actually had a few actual face-to-face conversations with him and talk should come easy because really past 50 would you be willing to waste an evening on someone you haven't actually met right I didn't think so. but talk over dinner can be tricky and i think it's probably best to take along a little cheat sheet so you don't get off track. 

cheat sheet 

  1. present & future tense verbs only if you stick to talking about the present and the future you will eliminate any possibility of bringing up painful subjects from the past like ex-wives/husbands, extra-marital affairs, back taxes, student loans, jail time etc and you will force yourself to focus on the you you are in the process of becoming.
  2. body language i think the first dinner date is a fact-finding mission for figuring out if this is someone you like enough to have dinner with again - so for God's sake don't flirt, play with your hair, cross your legs too much, think about soul mates or happily-ever-afters because you see where that got you before right - especially don't pay particular attention to his hands or lips etc. focus on your present & future tense verbs only and on you and your happily ever after and you won't go wrong.
  3. the check if he's invited you out for a dinner date he's going to pick up the check so don't do that who's going to pick up the check shuffle when the check comes. if you don't have a lot of practice in letting men pick up the check here's what you do. when you see the waiter about to come over with the check simply excuse yourself to the bathroom and by the time you've updated your best friends via text message on how the dinner date is going and get back to the table it'll all be over and you'll be ready to go.
  4. nightcap no nightcap on the first dinner date. unless it's raining and you're in paris or new orleans or new york and there's a new morning or a blue note or a snug harbor conveniently located around the corner and if you decide to go that route - you're on your own gf.
  5. ride insisting on meeting a man at a restaurant on the first dinner date i think is the single most important step to take if you're considering changing your facebook status from single to "it's complicated" or "in a relationship." you are not in high school anymore. you are not getting picked up to go to the prom. insisting on showing up in your ride will eliminate any questions about what if anything is going to happen after dessert. having the keys to your ride at all times during the evening says i know who i am, where i live, where i'm going, and especially says i know who's taking me home.
  6. goodnight kiss yes. Beside your car. Like high school. Then just go home. Alone. You have to trust me on this one.

So for my friend [let's call her Rachel because I don't want to embarrass her] I really had a good time putting this how-to together because it's forced me to think about maybe saying yes to a dinner date sometime in the next few years :) !!! And for my facebook friends and readers - while I know a lot about dating - I don't know everything and so would love it if you put in your two cents here in the comments x

                                                                                                                   image via 

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

cappuccino at cat island coffee house

How many coffee houses do you need in order to be happy? I wonder. As far as I'm concerned - a coffee house in every port. Any port in a roadtrip. At least that's the way I felt last Thursday when all attempts to re-create the hot bright roadtrip I made out to the desert a few years ago failed due mostly to stormy weather at home with my family and the light not being right for the photos I wanted

Monday, March 17, 2014

redneck crazy

Somebody's probably going to have to come get me out of Greenville at the end of May. For all the talk these past two years of wanting to leave the Delta - of shopping for zip codes - life here has suddenly cranked up into overdrive. And I'm having the same feeling I had a few months before I left Istanbul three years ago as in - why not stay. Troubling symptoms that I'm not thinking straight zip code or otherwise: Standing in Whole Foods Uptown New Orleans getting takeout last week & feeling out of place with all the yuppies. Hearing this song on my roadtrip and wanting to hear it over and over again even though I've spent a lifetime trying to escape redneck crazy. Getting the barn all put back together last night after 1200 miles on the road and the barn looking so beautiful and me thinking: If I had a washing machine and a TV and a job teaching freshman writing at a college or university here - what else would I need. So the question I'm asking myself and everyone else who's thinking of pulling up stakes is: Are you really sure you want to leave? Or do you maybe just need to take a little roadtrip? 
                                                                                                        coffee in pass christian later today