24 October 2014

secrets





Do you hear songs on the radio and think they're speaking to you? True confession. Last night I heard two songs on the radio that almost made me cry they were speaking so loudly to me. This song makes me feel so good about the way my life has never been nor ever will be perfect that I just wanted to share. Hope you enjoy & have a great weekend ~

                                                                    phyllis nobles

23 October 2014

the two o'clock in the morning kitchen


One of the few things I miss most about the barn is my two o'clock in the morning kitchen life. Now that I'm living in a roommate situation - I don't feel at home in the kitchen. So when I wake up at two o'clock in the morning I just lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and berate myself for not having my own place OMG how completely grownup of me. But just a few minutes ago I broke out of feeling like this is not my kitchen because I do pay half the bills here so I made some grits. They weren't very good because I've lost the top to my one boiler and you need a heavy top to make decent grits. This made me think it's time I bought some new cookware in anticipation of finally "settling down" at the end of this teaching contract. Thinking about buying new pans made me think of the barn and the mornings I made gourmet meals inside the kitchen at two o'clock in the morning. Because I do not have time to photograph the grits which I'm eating out of a paper Christmas cup and besides grits don't photograph well we'll just have some left-over wheat pasta and spinach today. And I can promise you that the next time I wake up at two o'clock in the morning - it's going to be on like Patron. And I think I know just the recipe I'm going to serve up.

22 October 2014

istanbul street picnic






you can go through a real slump post mid-term in october - what with so much intense work and no fall break. you can go through blogging slumps - what with difficulties involving connecting with people who get you. who appreciate you. the past few mornings i've woken up thinking

why blog?
why teach?

and this morning it occurred to me that if did not teach i would never have gone to istanbul. or to paris. or have great holidays to spend with my daughters & family. and even with all the insanity of being a high school teacher today - when you think about it

i get paid to read shakespeare

and if i did not take photographs
or write little stories here that i hope inspire someone besides me

my life would be nothing more than

go to work
go to the gym
go to walmart
eat
drink
sleep
 do laundry
pay off student loans
repeat

and i'm sorry.

that would not feeling like living to me.

21 October 2014

losing face


I had a personally painful incident at work yesterday that ended up with me losing it. I was going to say that yesterday ended up with me crying at work - but the word crying doesn't the moment justice.

07 October 2014

i need a new job, a new apartment, a new zip code, some new friends and a new passport ASAP {20 word therapy}


The point of today's visit with your favorite writer/English teacher is to get permission to complain about what's wrong with your life. A lot! The best way I've found to complain is to write my complaints down because then you don't have to deal with another person saying things like "it's not that bad, is it" or "look at the glass half full" or "but didn't you bring this on yourself"  "etc" {witness this blog of three years}. But if you can find someone to listen to you - you can just let what's wrong with your life rip. But don't call me because while I have always been a great complainer and a great listener - I believe I have just this morning lost interest in complaining. Especially mine. And even yours and you know I love you

;-)

Here's how I know I'm over it: I've been trying for almost two hours now to write a story about the great Oxford house I lived in and all the great friends I had when I was living in it and to share all those great photographs and great stories but I keep deleting what I've written because a voice in my head has started saying

Why?

And mostly because the lyrics a fool will lose tomorrow reaching out for yesterday keep playing inside my head. And a very bright voice keeps saying

pack.your.shit.

More about that voice later.

Because right now I've been able to condense what's wrong with my life into 20 words

i need a new job, a new apartment, a new zip code, some new friends and a new passport ASAP

 and have simultaneously invented

20 word therapy
Try it and let me know what you think. Simply overwrite - or write a rant - then look at what you've written and really listen to what you're saying. 

Then stop complaining and start doing.

Below the jump pls find what remains of the original story just to get an idea of how you can start writing your 20 word therapy

03 October 2014

pumpkins, basil & geraniums

 


There was or I should say there is because I now know that within 48 hours I could re-create this scene on another street that moment in the year when the seasons collide on the front porch. When the basil & geraniums flourish as if winter is never coming but the pumpkins beg to differ. I think it's the sweetest moment of the year. The one thing about this front porch that I cannot re-create is the bicycle hiding behind the geraniums. It belonged to Stephanie, my roommate who became my friend. She gave me the bicycle when we left this house, and I left it on the front porch of the house I lived in when I went briefly to live at the beach. But let's don't talk about the beach. Or about leaving. Because even as we speak the pumpkins are on their way to St. Peter's in Oxford, and I've got a Turkish dinner party to plan and know just the thing I'm going to do with pumpkins code word for my Turkish friends dessert at Çiya and for everyone else you're going to love it just wait and see

02 October 2014

the blue bicycle


That last year of the house by the cemetery there was a blue bicycle. It was never locked and for a very long time it stayed right here on the walk until one Saturday night someone borrowed it and never brought it back. If you were my student at Ole Miss - the blue bicycle was how you knew you'd arrived at my house that one time during the semester when I invited my students over for class. We would walk down the hill to visit William Faulkner's grave then come back up and have dinner and work on papers. I wanted my students to see this light and they saw it and they loved it. That was the second time I lived in this house. The first time I lived in this house - well, that's another story. For now let's just stand here inside this light with our bare feet on the warm concrete and simply drink in October.